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[11.21.01][10.24.01]

Frankie Drayus 11.7.01
"How to Stop a Pixie"

"The best way to stop a pixie is with a mirror," the lovely young girl informed me as she adjusted her glittering scarves tied carefully across her breasts and hips, leaving her waist and shoulders bare. Her hair glinted with butterflies and there were green wings painted near her eyes. Had I woken up in William Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream"? No, I was at Midnight Special Bookstore on the Friday after Hallowe'en, and some people just need to express themselves. Another woman dressed as a turquoise-gowned courtesan from Moulin Rouge complete with a roll of bills tucked into her cleavage even affected a decent French accent. Most of us did not come in costume, unless you count the masks we all put on when we leave the house and enter the world each day. Wayman Barnes in de riguer black, told us all how much he likes fried chicken. And I suffered the dreaded harpie-like keening of the Five Minute Alarm just as I was about to speak the final lynch-pin line of my poem. I always figure time is flexible - it slips; it slides; a minute can be an hour and vice versa. But not at Midnight Special. When our dear host Rev. Dave grinned at me, I knew that true democracy means no exceptions for anyone, not even me. There were 25 readers and about 50 total audience members including those standing in the back. I left with an inexplicable urge to don rainbow eye make-up and peacock feathers before hunkering down over some good Southern fried chicken. If the talent isn't enough to keep you there, the drawing at the end for two $10 gift certificates for Midnight Special Books will. Alas, I did not win this time but Raymond, aka The Exorcist, walked away smiling with one of them clutched tightly in his hands.

Fridays, sign-up 7:30pm, starts promptly at 8, five minute rule - they mean it.

Lucinda Lewis 11.6.01
1. LIVING ARRANGEMENT?
Single and starving

2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
N/A

3. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
I don't have one

4. FAVORITE BOARD GAME?
Pictionary

5. FAVORITE MAGAZINE?
Elle

6. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Lavender

7. FAVORITE SOUND?
Steely Dan

8. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?
Hung over

9. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
I have to dance!!!

10. FAVORITE COLOR?
Blue

11. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE?
1/2

12. NAME OF FUTURE CHILD?
Lana

13. MOST IMPORTANT THING IN LIFE?
Love

14. FAVORITE FOODS?
Seafood

15. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?
Chocolate

16. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST?
Absolutely.

17. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
No

18. STORMS - COOL OR SCARY?
Cool

19a. WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
VW Rabbit with a broken water pipe
19b. ULTIMATE CAR?
BMW 328I convertible with tan leather interior.

20. IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON DEAD OR ALIVE WHO WOULD IT BE?
Goldie Hawn and Jimmy Buffet.

21. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK?
Everything!

22. WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?
Taurus

23. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI?
Now, I do.

24. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Dancer.

26. EVER BEEN IN LOVE?
unfortunately Yes

27. IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL?
Half full.

28. FAVORITE MOVIE?
Grease

29. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS?
No.

30. WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED?
Pictures.

31. FAVORITE NUMBER?
I don't have one

32. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH?
College football

Jayson Soto 11.6.01
Riverside Underground Poetry Organization

Hello and thank you for having this great web site, my name is Jayson Soto. I host the monday night poetry/open mic night here in Riverside @ Back to the Grind Coffee.

I would like to let SoCal know that there is a place where you can be heard, and you will be heard, we gather in a dark basement surrounded by wonderful works of art in a loving family enviroment, every other week (Saturday) Alaska hosts the Subway art show that consists of great bands, great poets, and clever minded kids that like to have a good time. I would like to invite you to come join us every monday night and speak your mind together with us R.U.P.O is a door way into expression and yourself come feel the deep vibe and celebrate life.

love Jayson Soto

R.U.S.O.
Back to the Grind
Mondays (and evry other Saturday)
From 9-10:30, Free
3575 University Ave.
Riverside, CA
(909) 784-0800


Wayman Barnes 11.5.01

Back to the Grind

This was definitely an ol' school poetry reading, the kind I've always imagined the Beats having back in the day when the FBI considered them the third biggest threat to America's security. We were in a dimly lit basement/art gallery beneath an extremely large coffee house. Everyone was sitting on the floor, huddled in groups, listening intently to the words of the poets. There was no host and they didn't need one. The microphone was beckoning them to speak. And they did. Very, very cool.

Go check it out. It doesn't take that long to get to Riverside (it's late enough, so there is no traffic).

Back to the Grind
Mondays from 9-10:30
Free
3575 University Ave.
Riverside, CA
(909) 784-0800

Jelena aka Helen the Bashful Dragon 11.5.01
THIS IS Needless to say, Mr. Barnes "The Poetry Man" rocked again while sipping some "Corporate Coffee" and nibbling on "Deep Fried Chicken." The night continued with some cool blue blues from Jimmy Smith and his friends. Then, Mike Sonksen, Phil Martin, Slim, Yvette and Rachel got everybody on their feet claiming, "I'm alive in Los Angeles!" (They will all be alive and kicking at the L.A. Theater Center next Saturday night, so go see them -- you won't regret it.) Then, an amazing act called Totem Maples, got on stage, and boy did they mix music and spoken word! The rhythm of those congas hit me right in the stomach, the sounds of the piano trickled through my consciousness like a stream, the guitar plucked my heart strings, the bass resonated in my every cell, and the spoken word tickled my fancy as Larry (the vocalist) mused about music. Let me tell you: these guys (and a girl) are HOT! Go see them next time you hear they are performing in Los Angeles! The last but not least was the performance of the female poetry collective known as WomanSong. The ladies raised some really serious issues and wrapped them up in smooth poeticism. Now, if a book can be judged by its cover and a new multimedia happening by its opening night, RHYTHMz should be a winner.

Still, don't forget: the real winner is the corporate-coffee-drinking, deep-fried-chicken-eating poetry man, Mr. Wayman Barnes hisself. And just to think it all started by me asking him for a ride. We are the champions (my friend)!

WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU ARE FRIENDS WITH WAYMAN or WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!

More precisely, Wayman Barnes is... But let me begin where it all began. See, yesterday I coerced Wayman to give me a ride to Redlands where I had to pick up my painting from an exhibit that just ended. And don't ask me what I had to do to coerce him! I'm just not ready to look the truth in the eyes... So, we pick up the painting, get back on the road, get lost (as usual), turn around, drive back, drive forth, drive sideways... Well, not exactly, but you know what I mean. Finally, we make it to Long Beach just in time to hear Jaha Zainabu feature at the Big Damn. Sheeeee! That woman has THE VOICE!!! And some amazing poetry, too. Good to see the sister back on the poetry scene. I missed her since the time she won a spot on the 2001 L.A. Slam Team. So, after Jaha's feature, Wayman and I decided to enter the weekly poetry slam at the Big Damn. And you know how those writers are... You have to trick them into doing something, and they pretend to be shy and disinterested, and you think their self-esteem is shattered ... and then they get up on stage and blow everybody away, and you are left with a blank stare on your face saying, "Uh?" Well, that's exactly what Mr. Litrave did: blow everybody away. He won the slam with a total of 85.5 over Katie O'Laughlin's 82.2 points. Way to go WAYman!!! Now, LitRavers, pay attention! Go down to Long Beach on the 25th of this month to support our dear editor in the monthly Grand Slam. But shhhhhh! Don't tell him I sent you!

Now, as though his victory was not enough, instead of taking me home, Mr. Barnes took me to a brand new happening in Silverlake - RHYTHMz. When I think better, RHYTHMz is not that new after all... At least, the setting and the hosts are very familiar: Zen Restaurant, Larry Jaffe and Brandon Backhous of Poetic License fame (R.I.P. Poetic License). However, the format is different. It all started off with an open mic.

Frankie Drayus 10.29.01
1. LIVING ARRANGEMENT?
I live in a house in west LA with David. There are piles of books and magazines everywhere, lots of martini glasses, and not enough storage. There is never any food in the fridge. If you like to cook and shop at the grocery store, please come over NOW.

2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Anil's Ghost by Michael Ondaatje, Poems of Akhmatova (trans. by Stanley Kunitz), Complete Posthumous Poetry of Cesar Vallejo (trans. by Clayton Eshleman)

3. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
I use a Kensington track ball - it's an ergo thing and there's no pad.

4. FAVORITE BOARD GAME?
I can't say Stratego because then I'll sound like Wayman and we wouldn't want that, now, would we? Scrabble's okay...

5. FAVORITE MAGAZINE?
The New Yorker. There are scattered issues in every room of my house and at least one issue in my backpack at all times.

6. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Lily, anise, ripe fuji apples, oatmeal chocolate chip cookies baking in the oven, sweat on a clean body, snow.

7. FAVORITE SOUND?
"Yes." The ocean. Rustling silk. David saying,"Good morning." The ocean. John Coltrane. Laughter that is with, not at.

8. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?
Helplessness.

9. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
What am I late for?

10. FAVORITE COLOR?
Warm orange, deep red, magenta.

11. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE?
Almost never answer the phone. But I usually call back.

12. NAME OF FUTURE CHILD?
Figure I need to have a cat or a dog first. Having a commitment problem there.

13. MOST IMPORTANT THING IN LIFE?
First: Being alive. Second: Writing. Not necessarily in that order.

14. FAVORITE FOODS?
Dense chocolate cake, espresso, breakfast in bed.

15. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?
Coffee.

16. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST?
Is this some kind of psychological question attempting to discover whether or not I'm a control freak or a risk taker? Hm? Hm?

17. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
When I'm sick. I get to choose between the stuffed lobster, the walrus, the meerkat, or the extremely rotund French cat. Yes, they all have names. And the foreign ones have passports, too.

18. STORMS - COOL OR SCARY?
If I'm walking in the rain and it doesn't matter what I look like when I reach my destination, cool. If I'm on a boat on a lake where the mast is a lightning rod, scary.

19a. WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
1976 Oldsmobile Cutlass, V-8, gigantic, blue, not pretty, could pull a horse trailer uphill at 80 mph. Not a good idea with a horse in it.
19b. ULTIMATE CAR?
Some old Triumph, convertible Mercedes, or other car that fits in your back pocket, looks sexy, and is incredibly unsafe.

20. IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON DEAD OR ALIVE WHO WOULD IT BE?
My birth mother.

21. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK?
Cosmopolitan of course!

22. WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?
Sagittarius, but are you accounting for precession? The sign you're born under in this millennium isn't the same as when this mythology was first created.

23. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI?
Only if I have to. Life is too short to force myself to eat broccoli stems.

24. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Published writer with absurdly hectic deadlines and a fabulous paycheck. I suppose any paycheck would be fabulous...

26. EVER BEEN IN LOVE?
Absofuckinglutely.

27. IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL?
As long as someone else is buying, does it matter?

28. FAVORITE MOVIE?
The Unbearable Lightness of Being (cry buckets), Sabrina (the original with Bogart and Hepburn), The Philadelphia Story (crackling dialogue), Out of Africa (cry buckets), Guys & Dolls (where else does Brando sing and besides I love Frank so much), Some Like It Hot (no explanation necessary), Fistful of Dollars (Eastwood in that poncho), North by Northwest...

29. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS?
When I'm not dictating into voice recognition software, yes.

30. WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED?
The Arabian Nights (trans. by Haddawy), Czeslaw Milosz, Robert Hass, Osip Mandelstam, a biography of Max Perkins, the 1999 O. Henry Awards, a history of world religion, Self-Help by Lorrie Moore, about ten other books, some New Yorkers, and a heating pad.

31. FAVORITE NUMBER?
14

32. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH?
Bruins basketball. But each July I clip every article in the paper about the Tour de France because Lance Armstrong is my hero.

All right already. I did this silly quiz. But what you really want to know is: Wayman Barnes - boxers or briefs? And then you'll want to know how I know. More to come - just keep reading that Forum page... Ahem.

Yosh 10.28.01
the last one

the last one doesn't walk in to the room,
it is felt, and yet still maybe not,
the one you expected, be last.

the last one differentiates between moralities.
being, and being seen, as the finalities,
of the relationship between two objects.

animation is separate.

things don't always end the way we want them to,
addiction is in the middle. animation is separate.
you can only control your side.

make the decisions you can make,
you can only control your side.

do not over-react.
to great pain, or great happiness.

the last one is smoked,
maybe without knowing
that this will be the last one.

not appreciated,
the last one is not the one you'd necessarily remember,
only notice there is change ready to occur,
and blessed, temptates fate
with glistening eyes,
and soothing affection.

addiction, is in the middle.

the last one reminds you,
that you aren't going to live forever.
animation is separate.

©2001 YOSH.net

Wayman Barnes 10.28.01
I just learned that the Intense Guy from the Rapp Saloon has a name. It is James Gautier.

Neil Aitken 10.27.01
That list thing

Into the fray...

1. LIVING ARRANGEMENT?
My cubicle! j/k -- I have a spacious apartment where I live by myself.

2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
"The Angel of History" -- Carolyn Forche (poetry)

3. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
With my rent, I can't afford a mouse pad!

4. FAVORITE BOARD GAME?
Scrabble

5. FAVORITE MAGAZINE?
Poetry

6. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Used books (hey, my parents are librarians!), fresh bread, dim sum, the ocean

7. FAVORITE SOUND?
Wind through the trees and grain fields.

8. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?
Failing to keep a commitment/promise. Writer's block is a close second.

9. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
Turn off the alarm...

10. FAVORITE COLOR?
Black / dark blue.

11. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE?
2 rings.

12. NAME OF FUTURE CHILD?
Something Scottish and/or Chinese. Still some time to think about this.

13. MOST IMPORTANT THING IN LIFE?
Hope

14. FAVORITE FOODS?
Dim sum, hot & sour soup (done right), quiche, Indonesian curry, bannock

15. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?
Both.

16. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST?
Through Montana and other long barren places.

17. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
No.

18. STORMS - COOL OR SCARY?
Cool.

19a. WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
1970 Toyota Crown (rust red)
19b. ULTIMATE CAR?
1967 Corvette Stingray

20. IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON DEAD OR ALIVE WHO WOULD IT BE?
Pablo Neruda

21. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK?
I don't drink.

22. WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?
Taurus

23. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI?
Yes -- lightly cooked with oyster sauce.

24. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Professor of Creative Writing.

26. EVER BEEN IN LOVE?
Yes.

27. IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL?
"Depends if you're pouring or drinking" - overheard on the radio this morning and struck me as being exactly true.

28. FAVORITE MOVIE?
"To Live"

29. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS?
Yes.

30. WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED?
A couple small boxes of old letters.

31. FAVORITE NUMBER?
4

32. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH?
Full contact oragami?

Wayman Barnes 10.27.01
Yes! Dreams do come true ...



Jelena aka Helen the Bashful Dragon. 10.27.01
Peace To The World!

You know it's all about peace when a Tigerman, a bunch of cheerleaders, some Hawaiian dancers, musicians, actors, and poets all come together in one spot. And that's exactly why they named it Peace Day. Well, maybe not really... Ask Poetri if you want the real story. All I know is that all of us had a great time on Saturday, especially the kids from the Magnet School. And FYI, Hawaiian dancers were HOT!!! (You go, Jamie girl!) So was the Tigerman, but in a different sense of the term. (That tiger costume must have been very itchy... Ouch!!!) By the way, if you didn't know, it was Poetri's birthday. Boy, did he have a huge birthday party! Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday, dear Poetri, happy birthday to you!!! (And that was the Stevie Wonder version of the song.)

Peace y'all!

Wayman Barnes 10.27.01
Peace Day 2001

Wow! What an experience. Peace Day 2001 was so much fun, I wish every day could be like it. here was great entertainment: poets, musicians (gospel, rock, Brazilian, etc.) cheerleaders (highschool and Laker Girls), hula dancers, a fashion show (hosted by Traci Bingham of Baywatch and featuring teenagers modeling their own designs), a celebrity panel, professional athletes, a haunted house and even (litrave's good buddy) The Exorcist singing to the kiddies. All in all, a very heartwarming day.

We'd like to thank Poetri and Poetri's sister, Deirdre Smith, for inviting us to participate. Here is the official info of their organization: Peace Quest is a non-profit organization that seeks to bring people together regardless of race, creed, color, economic status, or gender; and to help foster an understanding that all people are important, all people have problems, and the only way to appreciate our similarities and differences is to communicate. To Join the Quest or for more information, call 310-474-5806.

Leslie Moore 10.26.01
Hi everyone. This is so much fun.

1. LIVING ARRANGEMENT?
I still live at home.

2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Text books

3. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
Kittens

4. FAVORITE BOARD GAME?
I am still fond of Candyland

5. FAVORITE MAGAZINE?
Soldier of Fortune (joke!!!)

6. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Fresh flowers

7. FAVORITE SOUND?
Alanis Morissette

8. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?
Forgetting someones birthday

9. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
I don't want to go to school.

10. FAVORITE COLOR?
pink

11. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE?
I screen ALL calls

12. NAME OF FUTURE CHILD?
Linda (my mother's name)

13. MOST IMPORTANT THING IN LIFE?
Love

14. FAVORITE FOODS?
Artichokes

15. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?
Vanilla.

16. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST?
I don't have a car.

17. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
Yes, Mr. Mustachio

18. STORMS - COOL OR SCARY?
Scary

19a. WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
Don't have one.
19b. ULTIMATE CAR?
Don't want one.

20. IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON DEAD OR ALIVE WHO WOULD IT BE?
Sylvia Plath.

21. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK?
I don't drink.

22. WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?
Virgo

23. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI?
Yes.

24. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Fashion designer.

26. EVER BEEN IN LOVE?
I love everyone.

27. IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL?
Half full.

28. FAVORITE MOVIE?
The Red Balloon & The Red Shoes

29. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS?
I try.

30. WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED?
Nothing.

31. FAVORITE NUMBER?
7, it's lucky.

32. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH?
Figure skating.

Jelena aka Helen the Bashful Dragon! 10.26.01
Color Green

The place is called "Green." Some of the poets are wearing green. Some poets are making other poets green with envy. The poetry slam, on the other hand, is always fresh but never green.

And there was another fresh slam at Green last night. And poets were fresh, too. And we got two fresh semi-finalists for the new Los Angeles Slam Team. Competition was hot like a red chili pepper instead of a green jalapeno. In the end, yours truly placed 4th (I guess, 4 should be my new favorite number), Kwame James placed 3rd, Jovan took the 2nd, and the big winner was (all the way from Riverside) Mark Gonzales. Looks like L.A. team is stealing him from Long Beach this year...

So, if you are in the mood for some Green, forget about the benjamins and go to Culver City next Thursday. You won't regret it.

Jelena aka Helen the Bashful Dragon 10.24.01
Was that a challenge?!?

Oh, oh, ooooh! Mr. Editor has issued a challenge, I see... Well, here is what I have to say on that topic:

1. LIVING ARRANGEMENT? A "bachelor" style apartment downtown, although I never was or could be a bachelor. (I'm not counting a Bachelor of Arts here.)

2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? "Dreaming True" by Robert Moss

3. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? My mouse

4. FAVORITE BOARD GAME? Scrabble

5. FAVORITE MAGAZINE? Don't read that stuff... Except "The Artist's Magazine," of course.

6. FAVORITE SMELLS? Patchouli, Sandalwood, Frankincense, Lavender, Cedar, Eucaliptus, Freshly cut grass, Ocean...

7. FAVORITE SOUND? Ocean waves crashing on the shore; running or trickling stream, fountain... any type of water.

8. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD? Fear

9. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? What?!? Daylight already?!?

10. FAVORITE COLOR? If we are talking about clothing - black (if it can be considered a color); if we are talking about sky - blue; if we are talking about men... he, he he! You really thought I'd tell you this one?!? :-)

11. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? Two. Otherwise my answering machine answers.

12. NAME OF FUTURE CHILD? Depending on what day of the week the child is born and if it's a boy or a girl, it would be something like Kwabena, Kwesi, Amma, Esi... you get the picture?!? Or maybe something poetic like Gyasi or Lerato or Lisimba.

13. FAVORITE FOODS? Spinach (yes, I'm weird!), Serbian tomato salad, sushi, and cheese... any type of cheese. (I must have been a mouse in a former incarnation!) And no, I didn't mean all these foods mixed together. One at a time, please!

14. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? Now, what are we talking about here? If it's food, I can't have either 'cause I'm allergic. And if we are talking about men, then... Did you really think I'd tell you this?!? :-)

15. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST? Yes, if I'm about to drive somebody crazy.

16. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? No animals for me. Unless it's a tiger in the sack, of course.

17. STORMS - COOL OR SCARY? Niether cool nor scary -- just necessary.

18. WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN? Capricorn with Moon in Cancer and Virgo rising. Is that enough information?

19. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? But of course!

20. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED WHAT WOULD IT BE? It would not be a job. It would be a calling. Something like a full time artist-poet-shamama.

21. EVER BEEN IN LOVE? I am in love. Still working on making it universal, though.

22. IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? Neither. It's full. It's overflowing. Nothing ever goes wrong in my world.

23. FAVORITE MOVIE: "Amadeus," "The Last Emperor"

24. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? Sometimes, when I am in the mood to obey the rules (as though it happens so often!)

25. WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED? I have no bed. Consequently, nothing can be under it.

Now, I am afraid this is much more than people ever wanted to know about me, but (as Wayman knows well) I am the type who can't resist a good challenge. So, there you go, Mr. Editor!

Wayman Barnes 10.24.01

All you poetry types keep sending me this little quiz. Instead of answering each one, I am going to post mine here. Feel free to do the same.

1. LIVING ARRANGEMENT?
I live in Venice (a block and a ½ from the ocean) in two combined apartments with three roommates, a dog, and a cat.

2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Birds of America by Lorrie Moore

3. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
Chicago Bulls Logo (It might be time for a change.)

4. FAVORITE BOARD GAME?
Stratego!!!

5. FAVORITE MAGAZINE?
I spend a lot of time dabbling at magazine stands without buying. I do have a subscription to Esquire, but that is mostly for Sedaris.

6. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Vanilla

7. FAVORITE SOUND?
Crashing waves

8. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?
Physical pain

9. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
Oh God, another one?!!

10. FAVORITE COLOR?
Burnt orange

11. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE?
1, maybe 2

12. NAME OF FUTURE CHILD?
Every time I pick one, I end up dating someone with that name and have it ruined for me forever.

13. MOST IMPORTANT THING IN LIFE?
Not dying.

14. FAVORITE FOODS?
Stuff I can't afford or junk food.

15. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?
Chocolate AND vanilla.

16. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST?
On the freeway yes. In a parking lot no.

17. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
Depends on how my day went.

18. STORMS - COOL OR SCARY?
COOL!!! Tornado storms are one of my favorite things. One of the few things I miss about Oklahoma.

19a. WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
Chevy Malibu.
19b. ULTIMATE CAR?
CHEVY MALIBU!!! Of course.

20. IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON DEAD OR ALIVE WHO WOULD IT BE?
My doppelganger.

21. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK?
Rainier beer (Once I'm already drunk).

22. WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?
Gemini

23. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI?
Yes, if it's yummy.

24. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Professional curmudgeon and world traveler.

26. EVER BEEN IN LOVE?
Yes (as a tear slowly rolls down my cheek).

27. IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL?
Half empty and getting emptier all the time.

28. FAVORITE MOVIE?
8 ½. Wizard of Oz. Sunset Blvd. Casablanca. Star Wars. The Good, Bad, and the Ugly, For a Few Dollars More, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Duck Soup, Dr. Strangelove, Blazing Saddles I could go on and on. The short answer is I don't have a favorite.

29. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS?
I hunt and peck. And I am a fast pecker.

30. WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED?
Shoes, shoes, and more shoes.

31. FAVORITE NUMBER?
22

32. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH?
Pro basketball.

NEXT?!!

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